Feeling Lost In Your 40s
If you’re feeling lost in your 40s you can likely relate to the pull of the status quo. On some level, we know that we need to take a deeper look at where we are, but it’s easier to carry on and pretend that everything is fine.
Common Reasons for Feeling Lost in Your 40s
Everything being “fine” is exactly what we need to be on guard for at midlife. Underneath “fine” is a sense that life could be better and more fulfilling.
Common reasons for feeling lost in your 40s include:
- Unmet personal goals or aspirations
- Career dissatisfaction or stagnation
- Family and relationship challenges
- Health issues or changes
- Lack of personal fulfillment or meaning
The transition of midlife can feel destabilizing. Sometimes we don’t remember or know what we love and what energizes us.
Autopilot Choices and Midlife
We have an automatic default that’s guides 95% of what we do in a day. As a result, by midlife we’ve typically become entrenched in those autopilot choices—taking care of our families, our jobs, our responsibilities. Knowing how to uncover and work with our autopilot way of being in the world is key to going into the next chapter of our lives feeling optimistic and fulfilled.
Emotional and Behavioral Characteristics
Emotional and behavioral characteristics of feeling lost in your 40s can include:
- Persistent feelings of boredom or restlessness
- Lack of motivation or enthusiasm
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Frequent daydreaming about different life scenarios
- Withdrawal from social activities
Practical Steps to Rediscover Purpose
The most important thing we can do in our 40s is get clarity about what our values really are. That is the exact process that led to a complete transformation of my own life. I was in my mid 40s and waking up dreading each day feeling like I was doing a lot it doesn’t seem to be adding up to anything rewarding.
My autopilot was leading me to value optics, my external environment, external validation and biggest of all—trying to live up to expectations that I wasn’t aware I had for myself. I had an autopilot that pushed me to jump through hoops every day around what I should or had to be getting done. When I was able to see how none of those things were connected to anything that I authentically valued I could start making choices in alignment with what I do value. That is a much harder thing to do than you would think. But having that clarity around what I authentically value was the first step. Then I could start to feel the high return on investment emotionally that comes from being in alignment with my values. I started to feel more liberated, energized and fulfilled.
That emotional state is the best kind of fuel that reoriented me in 40s and now into my 50s where I feel connected to who I really am and I can continually expand that instead of feeling stuck.
So what are the decisions that you need to make that could take you closer to those pockets of your life that you really value? If you need help getting clarity about your values and coaching support on how to strategically make choices in alignment with your values please reach out. My expertise as a coach at Elite is impacting how people make decisions in their life so that they can maximize their growth.
Book a Free ConsultationLiane Wansbrough | High-Performance Coach
