High achievers typically view perfectionism as a positive trait. Going after a high standard of performance can foster growth and achievement but it can be a double-edged sword. So why being a perfectionist is bad? The dark side of perfectionism is its impact on our mental health and well-being.
What Is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is about unrealistically high standards, being overly critical of oneself and feeling immense pressure to meet expectations. Perfectionists often equate their self-worth with their accomplishments and fear failure or mistakes, leading to a constant state of dissatisfaction and anxiety.
How to Identify Perfectionism
Some of the beliefs that make up the mindset of a perfectionist include:
- Mistakes Are Unacceptable: Perfectionists believe that making mistakes is a sign of failure and inadequacy. They see errors as unacceptable and often go to great lengths to avoid them, fearing that mistakes will tarnish their self-image or reputation.
- Success Equals Self-Worth: For perfectionists, self-worth is closely tied to their achievements. They believe that their value as a person is contingent upon their success and ability to meet high standards. This belief can lead to a relentless pursuit of perfection in all areas of life.
- There’s Only One Right Way to Do Things**: Perfectionists often believe that there is a single correct way to accomplish tasks and achieve goals. This rigid thinking can limit their creativity and flexibility, making it difficult to adapt to new or unexpected situations.
- If I Don’t Give 100%, I’m Lazy**: The belief that anything less than 100% effort is laziness drives perfectionists to push themselves relentlessly. This all-or-nothing thinking can lead to burnout and exhaustion as they strive to meet their impossibly high standards.
- Criticism Is Personal: Perfectionists often take criticism very personally, seeing it as a direct reflection of their worth. They may struggle with receiving feedback, interpreting it as an attack on their character rather than constructive input.
Those underlying core beliefs lead to negative effects for mental health such as constantly worrying about meeting high standards, which leads to chronic anxiety and stress. The pressure can result in physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia and digestive issues.
Perfectionists often focus on perceived failures and shortcomings, which can result in a persistent negative self-image and feelings of frustration and even hopelessness.
The constant drive to meet high standards can also lead to burnout because perfectionists push themselves beyond their capacity, neglecting recovery and self-care.
Why Being a Perfectionist is Bad?
Perfectionism often convinces us that striving for flawlessness will lead to success and secure a better future. However, the reality is quite the opposite—chasing perfection can have detrimental effects.
1. Dissatisfaction and Disappointment
Focusing excessively on achieving perfection can lead to constant dissatisfaction and disappointment. The persistent thought of “I’m not good enough” often overshadows the joy of everyday experiences, leaving perfectionists unable to fully appreciate their achievements or surroundings.
2. Strained Relationships
Perfectionism extends beyond personal goals to relationships, where the desire to be the perfect child, sibling, or friend may cause you to alter your behavior unnaturally. Conversely, holding others to impossibly high standards can result in frustration or disappointment when they don’t meet your expectations, ultimately straining connections.
3. Delays in Completing Tasks
Perfectionism often pairs with procrastination. Fear of failure can make starting new projects daunting, and once begun, the relentless drive for perfection can cause significant delays. This may lead to last-minute rushes or missed deadlines, amplifying feelings of inadequacy.
4. Increased Anxiety and Depression
The pressure to be perfect creates stress and fear of failure, contributing to emotional distress. Studies have linked perfectionism to anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and even eating disorders, showing the profound toll it can take on mental health.
Rather than propelling us forward, perfectionism often acts as a barrier, preventing us from enjoying life, maintaining healthy relationships, and achieving success without undue stress. Recognizing and addressing these patterns can help pave the way to a healthier and more balanced mindset.
Balancing Achievement With Mental Health
The shift to high performance involves awareness of when the perfectionist mindset gets triggered in our experience. We can learn to actively shift towards a growth mindset that allows us to pursue excellence in a way that feels better.
The two biggest mindset shifts include:
- Feedback Not Failure: Understanding that mistakes are part of the learning process can help high achievers reduce the fear of failure and develop a healthier approach to challenges. If you are interested in learning how to develop a growth mindset when given feedback, click here
- Progress Not Perfection: Shifting focus from the end result to the process of growth and learning can help high achievers find satisfaction in their efforts, rather than solely in their accomplishments.By understanding and managing perfectionist tendencies, high achievers can continue to excel without compromising their well-being.
Ready to break free from perfectionism and develop a growth mindset? Schedule your free 30-minute one-on-one consultation today! Let’s embark on this journey together.
Book a Free ConsultationLiane Wansbrough | High-Performance Coach