Many years ago I was a client of Elite High Performance. One of my most enduring memories of my coaching process was the day I left my session and later googled “what are human needs?”
Out of everything I learned from my own coaching process that one left the biggest mark. Looking back it’s hard for me to believe the different mindset I was in during that stage of my life.
I had heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs but that had been something to memorize and then promptly forget for a Psych 101 class in university. I had lived my life up to that point with the assumption that I didn’t have needs or at least I tried not to. Not being “needy” meant that I was strong, resilient and self-sufficient.
I also had the idea, like many of my female clients have now, that significant others should know what we need and we shouldn’t have to ask because then it’s less genuine. The idea is sincerity depends on our partners thinking it up on their own.
Do you want to know where that got me at the age of 40?
Exhausted. Irritated. Resentful. A tanking relationship with my husband.
What turned it all around for me was learning the skill of self-connection. It was through that improved relationship with myself that I learned how to recognize and get my needs met.
Now here I am ten years later in a far more empowered place where I ask for what I need and value my recovery time. That in turn allows me to replete my energy resources so that I continually build my capacity and therefore my growth over the long term. Best of all, I’m happy!
– Coach Liane
