When we are not able to move forward in the direction of our goals as high performers we must get clear if we are fearing rejection. Did we take steps out of our comfort zone, did we put ourselves out there, did we take the kind of calculated risks that would take us to the level that we want to be?
If we haven’t been doing those things it’s likely we feared doing “the thing” because of what somebody might say. We fear putting ourselves out there because it might draw a certain kind of attention. Doing anything that would risk looking foolish or having people make fun of us or see us as less than how we want to appear is terrifying for most of us. Fear of rejection impacts all of us as a social species because acceptance, validation and belonging is built into our DNA.
Fear of rejection is often why we can’t take the right action of integrity with our goals. That’s why as high performers we need strategies to deal more effectively with the painful experience of rejection.
- Understand that even “perfect” people are rejected. It’s part of life and when we get turned down it often isn’t personal.
- While it is true you got a no there are also many people out there who have said yes to you. Looking back, most of your life is made up of acceptance and only a small percentage is rejection.
- Nobody rejects you any harsher than you have rejected yourself. Rejection causes emotional pain but while rejection does 50% of the damage we do the other 50% because our self talk spirals us further into self rejection.
- It’s typical to think rejection is about other people but your reaction to rejection is most of the battle. It’s how we view ourselves when rejected that sets the stage for what comes next.
A core practice for a high performer is taking ownership over our internal thoughts and beliefs when we interpret a rejection. That’s the deciding factor in whether that experience takes us down and keeps us down or if we are able to navigate our way through it with intelligence.
– Coach Liane
