As we gear up for the holiday season this is a great opportunity to remember to give back to yourself and take some inspiration from the master of human needs—Abraham Maslow.
Maslow, a psychologist best known for creating the motivational theory for human needs, predicted way back in 1946 that we needed to develop a new vocabulary around selfishness.
Maslow argued the need to distinguish between:
- Healthy selfishness, which is rooted in psychological abundance versus
- Unhealthy selfishness, which comes at the expense of another person.
Healthy selfishness is about having compassion and respect for yourself that is expressed through boundaries around your time, energy and focus.
We all have that voice that pops up when we decide to take some time out for self care that second guesses and questions if it’s really necessary. After all, wouldn’t that time be better spent being available for family or doing something that helps you keep on top of things?
I’m always navigating how to balance my needs with the needs of my family. I’ve learned that I can’t wait for anybody else to read my mind and take care of my needs for me. I also don’t do myself or anybody else any favours if I’m stretched too thin. Maslow had it right when he said we can’t give to others when we have a feeling of inner poverty.
For the sake of your own health and happiness I invite you to practice this kind of selfishness without feeling guilty that you are taking anything away from others.
– Coach Liane