How we relate to our emotions falls on a spectrum. Some of us get swept up by our emotions and speak impulsively. We may lash out at people. Some of us swing to the other extreme where we suppress our emotions. We think that emotions create drama and complicate things so we try to avoid them.
High achievers typically suppress emotions, which involves bottling up and brooding. As a result high achievers run the risk of burning out because they go through life doing a lot of surface acting. Managing their emotions this way requires a great deal of effort and results in disconnecting from not just the negative emotions but also the positive ones too. If this is how we deal with our emotions we can end up feeling numb.
Not having a strong relationship with our emotional intel is also a critical factor in why we end up stuck and stagnating at certain points in our lives. High achievers can find themselves going through the motions for long periods of time but not necessarily register that it’s happening or why. When feelings don’t factor into the equation we continue to do what must be done whether we like it or not.
In my coaching process I help my clients understand that at the core of an emotion is some meaning or belief. The more we’re aware of what we feel at any given moment, the more power we have to influence it. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. Being able to regulate our emotions (not suppress or react to them) is central to being effective in whatever lane of performance we are trying to improve.
– Coach Liane